


Mr. Fell's Toy Box

by HarmoniHalo



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Blogging, Creampie, Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Dildos, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Eventual Relationships, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, JUST TALK YOU DUMMY, Love Confessions, Masturbation, Mild Kink, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarmoniHalo/pseuds/HarmoniHalo
Summary: Hello and welcome to my blog! I believe that's what it's called. I'm a bit of an old silly that barely knows my way around computers, but no matter, I'm glad you're here. I hope you stay awhile and have a cup of tea (or cocoa if you're like me!) while I divulge into my various escapades with my collection of "treats", as I like to call them. 0:)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 124
Kudos: 171





	1. Never Buy Cheap!--Personal Massager for Woman Therapeutic Wand Massager Gift to Treat Her Body Mulitspe

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not be inspired by my own experience with buying a cheap toy.

Hello again dears! I unfortunately come to you with a not so positive review of one of my many purchases. As you know, I've become very accustomed with purchasing my little treats over the internet, no matter daunting it may seem to me. I have a friend who is definitely more of an expert, but for the most part I believe I am getting the hang of it, as they say! 0:)

Well I stumpled upon many people on the social medias I frequent discussing the price of toys and how expensive they can be. Which, they are definitely not lying! Some of my purchases have put a strain on my wallet. But I believe it's all worth it for the pleasure they provide. 

One of the people in question was discussing an import site where they had bought a phallic toy and that it was half the cost of something on an adult novelty site! That was shocking to read. 0:o

I decided to explore and found a rather cheap toy, a wand vibrator, definitely Hitachi-eske. But not at Hitachi price. Which was odd to me. Wands are usually more pricey. I could only imagine how this site was able to sell them at such a low cost. It...probably had something to do with labor and how the toys were made. 

The less I ponder on that, the better. Ignorance is bliss. 

Not only that, but the picture used to advertise the item was poorly made. Garish and vulgar. Not a fan of it. Not one bit. 0:[

The oddities didn't stop there. 

The last time I ordered something from an adult novelty site it arrived shortly after. Maybe a week or so. The site in question had an arrival time of TWO MONTHS! I was not pleased and wasn't exactly patient, I must admit. 

While I waited, I decided to indulge in other sites. Including one that I've been recommended multiple times by you dears after divulging in a few of my "kinks". I believe I'm using that word correctly. 

Which site would that be? 

Well I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise! 0:3

There will be an in depth review on that purchase soon, however!

And trust me, it is much more positive!

After waiting two months, honestly two months!, for the bloody thing to arrive, I was struck with a rancid scent when I opened the package. Burnt plastic, I could only assume. 

The apparatus in question took one AA battery which I fished from my box near my bed. I decided to actually take my time with the trial run, since I waited so long for the damn thing. I was miffed, dears. Definitely not in the mood for a wank. But I had to test it, since I bought it. 

It was loud. Not at all suitable for public play. And despite it's rancorous noise it barely had any power behind it. I opted to place it over the fabric first. 

(By the way, some of you have asked if I wear lingerie or any other sensual clothing, and yes I do! I have a variety of corsets, garters, stockings and silky panties. I like to look at myself in the mirror while wearing them. Have you ever touched yourself while wearing something silky and looking at a mirror? You simply must if you haven't! Taking in the sight of yourself while you're at your most vulnerable is the purest form of self love. 0:) And to answer another question. If I'll ever provide recordings or pictures of my reviews? 

What would you dears say if I told you that one of my 'kinks' is exhibitionism? 0;)

But to continue my review, I could barely feel it through the fabric. To the surprise of no one. Teasing myself was off the menu. I kept getting more and more frustrated and not the kind I wanted to be! I usually enjoy these moments but this was unbearable! 0>:o

Placing it directly on the pink bits, finally I had some friction! Still not enough to make me come on contact like the tried and true Hitachi would but maybe if I could tense myself a bit I could at least finish, and then reach for something that I could actually enjoy myself with.

Or better yet, go downstairs to the kitchen and have some cake. Confectioneries would be oodles more arousing than this cheap bugger. 

I let my mind wonder, as I usually do, closing my eyes and imagining one of my many go to scenarios. This one in question was some very tender and gentle oral from a dear friend of mine who I find quite appealing. 

(You all seem very curious who this friend is, especially since I gush about him quite a lot. Unfortunately, that is one of the few things I can't divulge in. I'm so sorry to disappoint you, dears. All I can share is that he is devilishly handsome with a kind heart and a sizable bulge that I catch a glimpse of when he doesn't notice. Blame his affinity for wearing unbelievably tight trousers.)

Just the thought of him made the tension melt and I actually started enjoying myself. I had to tune out the grating vibrating of the blasted thing, even though I usually find the soft buzz of a vibrator very erotic, this wasn't at all a 'soft buzz'. It was a jackhammer. 

As I imagined my dear friend's tongue, flicking curiously at my insides, I was shocked to feel that the toy had became warm in my hand. This wasn't a feature stated in the item's description, but I wasn't complaining. I had pondered the idea of how warm his tongue would be, so this just added to the sensation. Until the thing became even hotter, scalding even!!

I yelped and turned the thing off, ears ringing from the absence of the noise. With careful hands, I opened the battery compartment, and was completely bewildered by what I saw. 

The battery had imploded! And the acid was coating the inside compartment. 

I thanked my lucky stars I had half a mind to stop and not continue after it had grown hot. I would be typing from a hospital after having battery acid drip over my vulva! 

I was furious!! Not just for me but any other poor soul who decided to buy the damned thing! 

I tossed the thing into the bin afterwards and went to wash my hands. Then set to making that cake. 

So as I type this, I'm enjoying a delightful serving of chantilly cake. And I'm still unbelievably sexually frustrated. But I wanted to type this out before I forgot. 

I'm sorry this isn't much of a review and it's more of a warning. 

But dears, I insist, don't buy cheaply made toys!! You are worth more than that, I promise you! Not only are you supporting what is most likely terrible working conditions for the manufacturers, you are putting yourself at risk! 

Toy buying isn't cheap, I understand that. But it is worth it if you do your research and buy from reputable sources. If anything, you could always talk to me for ideas. And I always have giveaways for some of my favorite (and safe!) toys.

I promise a more positive (and tantalizing!) review in my next entry. Till then, take some time today and love yourself dears! 0:D


	2. Taking a Walk on the Wild Side!-- Silas The Ssserpent

I'm writing to you dears after a quite strenuous but unbelievably satisfying endeavor. In my last entry I detailed my horrid experience with the Hitachi That Couldn't or The Screaming Is From Pain, Not From An Orgasm or even Would You Like Acid Burns With Your Wank Session, Old Chum?

All in all, I find coming up with funny names for the item is more gratifying than using the item itself. Dearie me. 0:(

Needless to say, I left a scathing review on the item's sale page. And a hefty one star review on the shop that sold it. Hmph. 

Anywho, I mentioned that while waiting (TWO MONTHS) for the Masochist's Delight (Sorry, couldn't help myself there is so much more where that came from.), I decided to peruse a site that you dears have left shining reviews for in my comment section and were very, very adamant about me giving a go. 

The site looked very professional on first glance and actually getting to look at the wares, oh my! They were GORGEOUS! So detailed and colorful! The manufacturer must put their heart and soul into making and designing these treats. While I can definitely imagine myself enjoying them with their intended uses, they wouldn't look out of place in an art gallery. While mostly phallic in shape, some of the products looked more like elaborate sculptures. This was a purchase that was right up my alley. 0:) 

Most of the phallus was animalistic in shape, most likely because of the internet subculture the site caters to. (That you dears decided to educate me on. I'm still very much an amateur. I believe if I were to use one of the products it would be referred to as "yiffing"? I am very puzzled.)

Honestly I was overwhelmed with choices! I had no idea which to pick! I was craving something to impale myself on but the masturbate-rs were quite appealing too. I may become a repeat customer. Rest in peace my savings. 

The wares are pricey. But for good reason! If the reviews from your dears are anything to go on, they're as beautiful as they are effective! 0:D

I must admit, I almost clicked out of the site. There was just so much to choose from and despite my tone I am still very green at the end of the day. But then. I saw it. I saw *him*.

His name is Silas. And as of today, he is my favorite treat. 

Did you dears know that snakes have two penises? Just a random fact that I find very amusing.

Silas the serpent is a double ended insertable toy and he is beautiful. A spectacular piece with multiple ridges that tickle in all the right places. I am in love, dears. Absolutely smitten. And with the site's wide variety of customization, I could make dear Silas whatever color my heart desired. And my heart desired bright crimson phalluses with a shimmering black base with a stripe of the same crimson through it. It's perfect, I was near tears! 0:,D

Now there was one issue. Well, two issues. Firmness and size. I hadn't the slightest clue what to make my treat. Luckily for me, the site had a live chat where I was able to talk with a friendly employee who helped me through the process rather painlessly. 

We settled on medium firmness, with a strong base and a size medium. It will be a feat to take in, but I believe Silas is worth it. 

Which bring me to his price. Toys are a luxury item, as you know. Which is why I recommend saving your money before making a purchase. Don't break the bank on these things. Your hands are always usable and they're free! 0:)

Silas is a luxury few can afford, but he is more than worth it.

After finalizing my purchase, I was sent a message telling me that my order would arrive discreetly at my home in around two weeks. Two weeks, isn't that convenient? And so much more acceptable than TWO MONTHS? 

Sorry. I'm still very bitter about the Do It Yourself Cauterize-r. 

Two weeks passed by quickly and before I knew it, Silas was home. And he looked even better in person! 0:D

And a wee bit bigger than I had anticipated. 

But I wasn't going to give up before I even started. Lubricant exists for a reason!

I settled down on my bed, opting to wear one of my most silky nightgowns. (Nothing else of course.) Silas was going to stay underneath me and he was dripping in lubricant, better safe than sorry. I tried a few different positions but if I'm honest, I was really in the mood to ride something, as filthy as it sounds! I straddled dear Silas, positioning his twin shafts to where I only had to sit down to take him in. (I also had quite a time keeping him still on the bed, especially since I wasn't planning to go soft.) I took a few deep breaths to prepare myself before letting him slip inside. 

The noise I made when he breached, oh my. I don't think I've ever made a SOUND like that before! I felt so full and as I eased down the length, *I may have let out an expletive or two.* ((Remove this before posting!))

Eventually, I had him completely inside on both ends, dear Lord. I stayed still for a moment just enjoying that feeling, it's honestly difficult to put into words. But eventually I started a steady rhythm in and out, Silas's little ridges tickling me in all the right ways. 

I can thank my lucky stars I don't have neighbors. I'm usually quite quiet during my alone time but this serpent drew some unbelievable sounds from me. I'm not complaining of course! 

And as I usually do, I closed my eyes and imagined someone beneath me. Someone holding my hips so tight that their nails were cutting into the flesh. Gripping onto me like a lifeline. I pondered his sounds, his reaction to my moans. Somehow I got even louder. 

I can't recall how long I was straddling him. Honestly time became just a frivolous concept when I let my mind wander. Eventually I wanted to finish but was so caught up with him inside, I didn't want to stop. Opted to use my hand instead of something that buzzed. 

It actually seemed more intimate that way, and I could replace my hand with his in my mind. My other hand grabbed at my chest, at least it tried to! I probably looked in complete disarray at that moment, Silas (or moreover, who I was imagining under me at the moment. If you're curious, yes it was the devilishly handsome friend with the firey hair that looks ablaze in the sunlight. I won't say anything more than that, you dears know the rules.) was doing unspeakable things to my state of mind, rendering me completely undone. I could hear him encouraging me, singing my praises, until after what seemed like eternity, it was over. 

I was a bit woozy after climaxing, falling against the sheets, feeling absolutely discombobulated. But it was wonderful. I felt as light as a feather! 0:) 

To wrap things up in silky bow, Silas was well worth the price! And he will be a repeat treat in my rotation. Honestly the past few days, I would imagine using him after I closed up shop for the day. Just biding my time, waiting for the last customer to leave before I could rush upstairs to my bedroom. 

Just today, that friend that go on so much about came over for drinks and to chat. Usually I never rush time with him, I treasure every moment we sit there inebriated out of our heads talking about nothing. But I craved that feeling, that full feeling. That brimming with so much that I'm close to bursting feeling. 

Luckily he left without my coersion. And when he drove off, I locked the door, rushed upstairs and rode Silas like my life depended on it. Thinking of him all the while. 

I've become a bit insatiable. And a bit more lewd than I probably should be. Hmm.

Anywho, I hope you dears enjoyed this more positive review. I've already decided what my next purchase will be, I just have to work out a few kinks. (Not those kind! Well, yes, maybe those kind.) I'm rather excited! This one will be a bit risky but all the more fun. I look forward to it, and hope you dears do too. 0:)

And before I go, I've been reading comments about my friend and my amorous feelings for him. I know you dears mean well but it's really not as simple as just telling him. There is so much I wish I could tell you and you had the capacity to understand. 

Things will be alright. I know they will. 0:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azi buys a BD.   
> And he definitely wasn't calling it "Silas" when he was using it.   
> Also how did he get the thing to stay still on the bed while he was riding it? Miracles baby.


	3. Not Safe For Work--Hera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an angel tries out public play and gets way more than he bargained for.

Good morning/afternoon or evening to you dears! I've been a bit occupied with personal matters and unfortunately missed my last deadline for a review. I'm deeply sorry for making you all wait but nonetheless, I have quite a plan to make it up to you. 

Needless to say, I worked out the kinks (Ha! Kinks!) and decided to be a bit daring with this next trial run. You would probably think that after the dreadful experience with the "Hitachi that couldn't" I would be apprehensive about using another vibrator. But I put my qualms aside, and went on the internets to search out my next treat.

I believe after reading an article in one of my dear friend's magazines (which were sent to his flat accidentally and we found it amusing to read through them while partaking in some wine), I had become fascinated with the idea of "public play."

The article involved a couple dining at a restaurant while one was sporting a non-penetrative toy and the other was controlling it with a remote. If I'm being honest, doing something so vulgar at a restaurant seems very uncouth not to mention rude to the other diners. And also! Why would you be indulging in sexual pleasures while there is food on the table in front of you?! 0>:(

My friend thought my reaction to be rather amusing, laughing while I ranted and raved about how disrespectful pleasuring yourself in a restaurant was. The idea was definitely tantalizing but putting it into action, definitely not. I should probably mention that I spoke that aloud and he wasn't quite expecting me to do so. Neither was I, if I'm honest. Though I have a tendency to speak my mind on this blog without filter, in my every day I keep these things to myself. And this was the first time I let him see me that way, gave him a hint that I'm not as innocent as I come off. 

The blush he had would've made a tomato jealous. But he didn't seem offended or put off by it, so I suppose that's a good thing? 

Something you dears should know about my friend, he holds himself with much bravado, always trying to come off stoic and confident. Very cool and collected. But, oh. He crumbles like tissue paper with just the slightest embarrassment, always has. And when he does, I can't put into words how _adorable_ it is. I'm sure he thinks I don't notice, but I do. It's one of the things in my mind while I'm alone with myself and thinking of him. I imagine stripping myself completely bare, with maybe only some lace lingerie beneath, maybe sky blue in colour. (I think I look rather fetching in sky blue!) And he's there, looking me up and down from head to toe, wide eyed, mouth agape, completely in awe from the sight. His lip would do that precious quiver that it does when he can't find the words to say. His cheeks would be cherry red. Sometimes I imagine him falling off the bed in shock, seems like something he would do. 

Either way, we dropped the conversation after that little slip up, but there was this tension that hung heavy afterwards, no matter how much wine we guzzled. I noticed him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, he looked anxious. As if he wanted to say something. Do something. So fidgety, the couch was squeaking from the hopping of his leg.

He left soon afterwards. 

Of all the years I've known him, we never ended a meeting on such a low and confusing note. 

But I'm sure you dears aren't interested in my romantic woes. You're here for the next review! 0:D

After that encounter, I had to buck up. I felt disheartened from the experience. Because even though my feelings for him are not at all platonic, and everytime I've used one of my treats it's him I'm imagining, his voice I'm hearing, his eyes watching me, his hands touching me, his mouth kissing me...(I'm sure you get the picture), he is my only close friend. And I'd rather pine for another millennia than lose him. 

But those feelings could wait since I made a promise to you dears for tantalizing and honest reviews. I take promises and deadlines VERY seriously! 0:)

I decided to venture back to one of my tried and true sites to pick out my next treat and was reminded of the article in the magazine. I also recalled a conversation with my friend that involved Blueteeth?? I believe that is what it's called. Which is when a cellular device can connect to another device wirelessly. 

I actually own a cellular phone as well. It was a gift from my friend so we could communicate if I was out of the shop and he wanted to call. I've only used it a few times since I received it and only to answer his calls. He told me I could use applications on it to search up recipes and the like but I already have a rather large collection of cook books so I never thought to try anything besides the "phone" option of the cell phone. 

The applications were definitely the most confusing part of owning a cell phone. My friend seems to be on his constantly, playing games and showing me articles that he finds interesting or amusing. 

The reason I mention "apps" is because the treat I intended on purchasing is controlled by an application on the cell phone! Isn't that keen? 0:D But there lay a problem, I had no idea how to install the application onto the device. And had to ask my friend for help. 

Oh Lord. To say I was deeply embarrassed to ask him how to install my vibrator remote application onto the cell phone he gifted me, is a gross understatement. Luckily for both of us, the application's name and small picture that accompanied it were very discreet. 

The dear boy was just confused why I wanted an application called 'Hera' on my cellphone. 

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the new device's name, Hera! Rather odd name for sexual apparatus, taking the name of Zeus's wife. To be completely fair to the site however, creative names don't seem to be their forte. 

I could imagine how that site-naming brainstorming session went.

"Ah yes, let us name our adult novelty site after the first humans God herself created. Thinking about the Garden of Eden gets me rather hot and bothered, ha! With it's endless supply of fruit trees and beautiful flora and fauna and not to mention the serpent that slithers through the underbrush looking for weak and naive souls to tempt."

Oh. Thinking about the Garden _does_ get me hot and bothered.

Anywho, my friend handled the installing process and I ordered Hera. He was a bit curious at the application's function but I think I avoided that question excellently. I offered him a drink. That always seems to steer the conversation in a different direction.

So, Hera. She's a pastel pink vibrator with a curved design, rather small, not at all blatant about her purpose. There's a tiny button on the flat end of her curve to turn it on and to change the settings. Honestly she alone isn't worth the price, just a run of the mill basic vibrator with a sleeker, less phallic shape. Where her value comes in is the wireless features.

With the application, you could connect to Hera and control her wirelessly. And even more intriguing is the long distance capabilities! 0:D No matter the distance between the wearer and the controller, as long as they have the app on their phone they can control Hera as if they were right next to the user. Of course, this isn't something I could experiment with unfortunately. As the one person who I would give my key without question most likely wouldn't take it. 

I won't lie however, thinking about my golden eyed dear friend staring at me from across the shop while I was tending to one of the bookshelves, a mischievous smirk on his face while he upped the power of the apparatus pushed against my sodden pink insides, causing me to quiver and shake and _beg_...

Needless to say after ordering Hera, I explored that thought even more while straddling Silas. On the chaise this time. Something about pleasuring myself right beside the large window on the far side of the shop was incredibly arousing and erotic. It was in the evening and I only had soft candlelight around me, but there was the fear (and hope) that someone could spot me behind the glass.

Maybe it is a good thing that my friend has no idea what I've become. I'd never hear the end of it from him. 0>:(

I did warn you dears! After I started this blog and journey of self discovery, I've been more predisposed to lewd behaviors and perverted thoughts and ideas.

Hera arrived at the shop a few weeks later, understandably since it shipped from the US. She's quite a sight in person! Very petite and demure. But don't let her size fool you, she holds a lot of power in her small form. I'm sure even without assistance from my cell phone she and I could still have plenty of fun together. And even despite her strength, she's still very quiet. Perfect for what I have planned. 

I charged Hera for about an hour like the manual suggested and she was ready to pair with my cell phone. I hoped to God above that it would connect without a hitch and I wouldn't require my friend's expertise. I could only imagine how well that conversation would go over.

_Dear boy, I hate to bother you at a time like this but do you think you could assist me in pairing my wireless vibrator to my cell phone and the application you installed on it earlier this week?_

I shudder at the idea of what his response would be. Definitely not good. No. 0:(

Thank my lucky stars that it connected seamlessly and I was able to control Hera without difficulty. 

I should probably detail what the application has on it. Along with the simple to read manual control, it also allows remote access to anyone one with the application installed and your personal key that you can give them if you so choose. There's also an option that connects to the phone's music player and syncs the vibrations to the beat of the music. I unfortunately don't have any music on my phone, as all my favorites are on vinyl, obviously, so I wasn't able to test out that one. 

But the thing that had me the most intrigued was a huge list of patterns that others with the app had made. And one had caught my eye on title alone. 

"Edging (15 minutes)" 

The pattern started off soft and teasing but as it went on, it grew in intensity. Just what I needed for my little experiment. 

So I've mentioned in the past that I own a bookshop. It's not the busiest but that's how I prefer it to be. I did mention the idea of incorporating public play into a perfectly fine meal at a restaurant as slightly insulting and rude, but I didn't out right say that public play was off the table. And, as most do, I tolerate my job more than anything. 

Don't misunderstand, I adore books. It's just the people, often times, grind on my nerves. So I thought, what a perfect time to test out the idea of public play, while I was in the shop with only a few customers. 

And at first, it was that simple. At first. 

A few unexpected circumstances may have put a wrench in my original plans. 

The day started uneventfully. I opened the shop around noon and customers started trickling in a few hours later. I waited till there was about 5 or so. More crowded than usual but still rather empty. Just in case. 

I had tested Hera the night before. By which I mean I let her run and then checked if she heated up or not in lieu of putting her directly on my bits and then having her implode. Definitely learned my lesson from last time. 

When I felt the time was right, I went to the back room and put Hera in place. I should mention that her curvature fits perfectly against the natural curve of the body and stays in place with the right size of knickers. I was wearing something a bit silky and revealing underneath my normal attire. But that's nothing new. I've been doing this rather routinely, especially around my dear friend. All he sees is me and my "stuffy" and "rigid" attire, too "modest", barely showing any skin. Unlike he, who wears a button up shirt with at least two or three rows unfastened and skin tight trousers that accentuates his sizable bulge and that pert arse that constantly teases me. But little does he know, under the demure first few layer of clothes, I was donning a bright crimson two piece silky set of lingerie.

And he was none the wiser!! 0:D

After a bit of fiddling, Hera was on and connected to my cellphone. I started up the pattern, very giddy about the possibilities that lay before me. It started off soft, as i figured it would, barely noticable but there was a slight tingle. And just to add a bit more danger, I placed the phone on the back counter and left it there, so I couldn't turn it off. 

Walking back into the shop, the setting changed slightly, upping just bit but it almost knocked me off my feet. A customer saw me, asked if I was alright. I was sweating through my waistcoat, so nervous but so thrilled. They had no idea. No idea the stuffy, gentle bookseller was pleasuring himself right in front of them!!

I felt a tiny bit of shame but it was counteracted by the excitement and thrill. And after they walked away, I went to tend to one of the shelves. And the setting _spiked._

I dropped what I was holding to cover my mouth. (Maybe I've mentioned in the past I'm louder than most. But if I haven't, I'm louder than most.) It kept that steady vibration for a moment before going back down. When I walked away from the shelves, a few customers were staring back at me. I waved it off, said I was fine. And continued as normal.

A few minutes later, one customer walked towards the front desk, wanting to see something from the restricted section. Funnily enough. We were chatting like normal before Hera ramped up again, causing me to grip at the desk. And yelp. Rather loudly. I genuinely think I scared them off with that, as they walked out of the shop. I didn't mind. I wasn't keen on getting on a ladder to get to the restricted section while having an oscillating vibrator nestled against my insides. 

Things continued with a few close calls and I could tell we were reaching the end and Hera was getting me closer and closer. I planned on going to the back room to finish. And go back to work, satisfied. 

But in walked the _wrench_. Looking as devilishly handsome as ever and holding, God help me, a box of pastries!! 

One of the customers must have directed him to the back room where I was. He strode in none the wiser, smiling at me in a way that made my heart melt. Luckily, Hera had calmed down a bit so I could hold an actual conversation with him. At least for the moment. 

Out of nowhere, it shot up to maximum and it _did_ knock me off my feet. And the bastard caught me, holding me, asking me what was wrong. I couldn't speak, tell him that was fine or that I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, encourage me, anything, just anything would do!!! I bit into my lip, not wanting him to hear anything.

Then it happened. The bugger pushed me over the edge and as fantastic as it was, honestly the power on it is spectacular, I was so embarrassed that I thought I might die. But no, my torture wasn't anywhere near over. 

In my mind, I was calling for help and it was supposed to come off as such, but no. 

I called out his name. 

Or more accurately.

 _I **moaned** out his name. _. 

The poor dear almost dropped me in shock and I could hear him hyperventilating. And after helping me back to my feet, he made an indecipherable noise and left the shop rather quickly. Leaving the box of pastries.

I haven't heard word of him for the past few days. Maybe I should call him to check on him, but I'm too embarrassed to try. What would I say?? How could he look me in the eyes after...that? 

Hera is back in her box and I haven't touched her since the incident. I haven't even used Silas. As I type, I'm gorging myself on the pastries. They're absolutely scrumptious but do nothing to lessen the blow. I miss him, my dear friend. And can't help but worry about him. 

Actually, I feel like calling him would be the best option! We're best friends after all, we've been through worse and came out perfectly fine. 

I apologize this was more me recounting an embarrassing situation and less review of Hera, but trust me, she's still a wonderful treat! 

I'll leave you now dears. I have a very important call to make. 0:)


	4. An Odd Occurrence (Not a Review)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale calls his friend back after a terrible misunderstanding and everything seems to be resolved. It's like nothing ever happened!
> 
> Supposedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Yvesriba for being an amazing beta! You've been so helpful after the past few weeks and I can't be more grateful.
> 
> Also check out the new tags!!

My dears I'm incredibly sorry to inform you that this isn't review. If anything, it's me writing a diary entry. Because the past few days have been quite turbulent and I'm not quite sure where to begin or what my current feelings are or, bugger. I'm at a loss for words. 

How does that colloquialism go?

The cat is out of the bag, I believe. 

This blog is no longer a secret. He knows. He _knew_. And I feel miserable. Embarrassed. 

I would talk about this to a close friend and not waste my readers’ time with something that isn't a review, but alas, my only close friend. We are--

I don't know what we are.

Well, I could assume what we are but I'm not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, it's exhilarating and something I've been fantasising about. On the other hand, it's hollow and meaningless. 

I should probably provide context. Right.

After typing up the Hera review I gave my dear demonic friend a call, oh damn it all, no, I gave Crowley a call. Anthony J. Crowley. No use hiding his name anymore, he knows about this blasted page. And the contents therein. 

He barely let the phone go past one ring, as if he was expecting me. That definitely didn't make me feel any better about not calling him. And he didn't seem angry or disgusted, he just seemed happy to hear from me. 

I don't deserve a friend like him, I really don't. 

We chatted a bit about making plans to meet up, maybe have a lunch date. I was overjoyed he didn't bring up the incident at the bookshop and how I literally orgasmed in his arms. 'Maybe he didn't know what was happening?' I thought, but that was foolish. I couldn't have made it any more obvious if I screamed out his name. (Which was incredibly tempting, being pleasured like that and seeing his golden eyes staring back at me...dear Lord.) 

Anywho, things carried on for a moment like that until he proposed to meet up at a nearby bakery. Which I accepted without hesitation. What warmed my heart the most was that he chose that location just to please me. He's not too keen on baked goods but he knows that I adore them! 0:) 

We met for the lunch date and Crowley looked as delectable as the cake slice on my plate. The dear boy has been robbing the barber as of late, and he is a vision with his red, wavy locks. They contour his skin perfectly, not to mention every time I see them I just ache to tug on them. While kissing him maybe. Or, more strenuous activities. 

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I reviewed cake shops instead of sexual apparatuses. Most likely the events from last night would've played out much differently.

And I must say again, I'm not sure how I feel about what happened. 

The lunch date was perfect, the cake was scrumptious and Crowley was a wonderful companion as always. But now there was the matter of what to do after the date was over? 

Crowley suggested we go back to the bookshop. Have a few drinks. And I eagerly said yes. Just another step on the way back to normalcy and another toss of dirt onto the grave of the memory where he had walked in on his best friend pleasuring himself. 

Well, it should have gone in that direction. 

We returned to the bookshop, both of us taking off our jackets and hanging them on the hook near the door. I couldn't help but notice how loosely Crowley's collar fit him and how his shirt was slack enough that I could see his chest when he leaned over. I wish I hadn't, I was just making myself more and more pent up.

I'll have to admit he was clever. Which is no surprise but the statement still rings true. Crowley waited till we were a few drinks in and the interrogation began. 

"What was that scene from yesterday about?" He asked me, not a single bit of a slur present in his tone. 

I felt my stomach drop and I almost spat out my merlot. I tried to play dumb. 

"What scene?" I responded.

He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned closer in. "Yesterday. When I brought the cakes over. And you were in the back of the shop alone, reeking of lust. **THAT** scene, angel." 

I didn't know how to respond. So I continued the charade. 

"Reeking of lust?" I admonished, feigning offence. "Me? An angel?? You must be joking!"

"Just tell me." Crowley sighed. "Be honest with me, please. Was I mad or were you getting off in the back room, somehow??" 

I caved. I hate when we fight and I couldn't reason with him like this. I had to just come clean. I nodded. 

"Right." Crowley continued, I felt like a petulant child being scolded. "Can I ask how? You were still completely clothed. And your hands weren't in your trousers."

I didn't speak a word but got up from my reading chair to retrieve the trinket box where I keep my treats and the mobile phone he had gifted me. I placed them on the table in front of him. 

"What's all this?" He asked. 

"Just open it, please." I responded.

He did so, and saw Hera and Silas. I felt faint, and couldn't look him in the eyes. Crowley didn't appear mad or disappointed, but I still felt that he would be. 

"You have a sex toy collection." He finally spoke and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. 

"Yes I do." 

"May I ask why?" 

"Why would I possess such a collection, Crowley?" 

Crowley nodded, "Of course. It just...it's a bit shocking to me. So, you've used these?"

"Yes."

Crowley picked up Silas by one of his phalluses, "Even this one?" 

"Oh yes. I've used Silas multiple times." I couldn't stop myself from admitting, it was probably the wine. 

"Si---Alright, yep. You named it Silas." Crowley dropped it back into the box, his eyes wide. 

"Oh no, I didn't name him that. The website I bought him from did." 

"Website?!" Crowley's voice went up a few octaves. "What the heaven are you doing on the internet, Zira?!" 

"Why are you so surprised?!" I yelled back, crossing my arms. "I'm a responsible adult, Crowley, I can do what I please. If you must know, I've been spending an awful lot of time on the interwebs." 

"Interwe--Satan, preserve me. Can I ask what you've been doing besides buying sex toys?"

"Oh." I pulled up this blog on my phone, (oh by the way, I can type reviews out on my phone now! 0:D) "I also review the toys too." 

I was inebriated at the time and wasn't thinking about the consequences of my actions. And let Crowley read the reviews I had posted. 

I hadn't realized what a terrible mistake I had made until he spoke up again. 

"You've been lusting after me." 

I nodded. But I should have said "no not lusting. I love you and want to be with you in more than just the lustful sense. I don't just want to fraternize with you but I want to make love with you." But the blasted wine. No such luck.

"And you made me install a vibrator app on your cell phone." Crowley reached into the chest and grabbed Hera. "This being the vibrator, I'm assuming?" 

I nodded again. 

Crowley smacked his lips, "Alright. I want to see you use it." 

"W-what?!" 

He said that. He actually said this. I was bewildered and didn't know how to respond. 

"I won't read anymore of this blog of yours if you let me see you use it. You're the one that's lusting, this should be everything you wanted, right?" 

"You just...you want me to use it?"

"Sorry no," Crowley grabbed the mobile device off the table. "I want you to come with it and I want to control it." 

"You can't be serious, Crowley." 

"I'm dead serious. Don't think anything of it, just a friend helping another friend."

I have no idea why he sounded so infuriated. What had I done wrong? I thought someone of his kind would be tickled pink about having someone like me lust after him. 

It wasn't just lust, obviously but he didn't need to know that.

"I'm not forcing you to." Crowley reassured me, but his tone was still stern. "I'm asking. But if you don't I may become a frequent reader of this blog of yours." 

"ENOUGH." 

I was cornered but at the same time, I wanted this. I've been wanting this. Crowley actually there while I was with myself, his eyes only for me. Even better, him controlling the scene and how much or how little pleasure I get from the experience. 

I couldn't say no. I didn't want to. 

"Lose the trousers and put this," He handed Hera over to me, "wherever you need to." 

I complied, sitting on the sofa, weaseling out of my clothes. Completely forgetting that I had worn one of my silky, red pieces beneath them. 

Crowley didn't seem to mind it. He actually gave me a ghost of a smile. "'s nice. Go ahead, and take those off too." 

Off came the silky knickers. Now my bottom was completely bare. I motioned to put Hera against me but Crowley stopped me with a shake of his hand. 

"Do something for me first. Spread yourself out a bit."

I was confused, did he mean spread my legs?

"No, no." He put a hand on his crotch. "Here." 

I did so, using my fingers to spread out the labia majora. I felt so exposed and I don't want to say that I enjoyed it but I did. My word, I did. 

Crowley was staring me down like a choice dessert and I was devouring the attention. He saw me as something desirable and it felt fantastic. I was hesitant at first but after a moment, I eased into it. I let out a soft moan while rubbing at my insides and the look on his face was priceless. 

"Zira..." He stammered, "Before you place it, could you maybe...?" He lifted up two fingers and I nodded.

I could easily take more than two fingers, Silas is much thicker than that, but I wanted to do what was commanded of me. Dutiful, that's the word. And Crowley soaked up the sight and the sounds and that was all that mattered to me at the moment. 

I carried on, putting on a show like I usually would when I would look back at the mirror during my personal time. Though unlike my self pleasuring sessions, I had an enraptured audience and it was much more satisfying than my own reflection, if only by a little. 0;)

I rolled my hips with the motions, laying my head back, letting out moan after moan. I could see him out of the corner of my eye getting more flustered by the minute. 

Eventually, he asked me to place Hera. I expected him to tease or use any of the edging functions, but no. 

Crowley, the bastard he was, pushed it to the highest setting, making me scream. It was so overwhelming but I didn't want to say stop or relinquish control. I wanted him to use me. I wanted him to be merciless. 

Needless to say after only a few moments, Crowley hurled me over the edge while I wailed in a pitch I didn't even know I had. 

Luckily for me, overstimulation wasn't on the menu tonight and after seeing me fling myself off the sofa, Crowley turned Hera completely off. 

After a moment, he lifted himself off the other end of the sofa. I couldn't help but notice the very prominent bulge in his trousers that practically throbbed. I felt my mouth water at the sight of it. 

"Any reason I need to stay?" He asked, completely dead pan. 

I wanted to say yes, obviously. But in the post orgasmic stupor, I shook my head no. 

"I'll be off then. Take care, angel." 

Then he left. 

I'm not sure how to feel about last night. It was amazing, it felt fantastic, but it was missing something. Maybe a good night kiss or a post coital snuggle session. Or an "I love you. "

I believe Crowley when he says he won't read anymore of the blog. He's not one to lie. But I wish he could read this entry. Because I don't think he realizes that what I feel isn't just lust. 

It's that, but also love in its purest form. 

But I don't even know if he's capable of comprehending it. 

Alas, I must end this entry on a note of confusion. And also apologize that this is not a review. But if you dears are eager to hear more of my romantic woes, then I believe I'll have more stories to tell. 0:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooops all angst!
> 
> Trust me they'll get over themselves eventually and things will get better! And I should clarify EVERYTHING is being consented to! Theres no coersion here, Azi wants this but at the same time he really wants to be with his bestie much more than just sex stuff. 
> 
> Come back next chapter where Azi completely forgets that humans can't magically change their gentials and somehow ends up with a (smaller than average) peen.


	5. Technically A Review--Dante's Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale hopes to try again to make amends with his demonic friend, but an unexpected gift may throw a wrench in the plans.
> 
> (Featuring Zira's lack of knowledge involving genital switching. Oops.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Yvesriba for being an amazing beta and person!!! 💙
> 
> And we got some more tags!! :3c

It happened again, dears.

I told myself it wouldn't, I told myself I had to speak up. I _told myself_ whilst looking at my reflection, "Azira, you need to have an actual conversation with him. You can't let what happened before happen again. You're his best friend, you must talk to him about how you feel."

But it was all for naught because I'm a hedonistic harlot who can't tell that devilish bastard "no"! 

And what's worse is that he brought a gift this time! A specific kind of gift. To review. Which he didn't advertise when he called me to meet up again. I would've preferred he called me and made his intentions clear, such as,

"Angel, I purchased this state of the art masturbator, fancy me to come over so I can try it on you?"

But no, he was incredibly vague, asking for another lunch date. This time at a local Asian fusion restaurant, where they served sushi. 

I accepted, obviously. Mostly because of the sushi but also because I wanted to reconcile with Crowley. But yet again, over our serving of sashimi and lo mein noodles, he didn't even mention it. No talk of him asking me to bare myself to him or using Hera on me or making me scream before leaving me alone and mussed. 

Then came the sake. Which he decided to take to go. I thought it to be odd but didn't think on it much. I hadn't had sake in awhile so I was more than keen to partake in it. 

And he asked we go back to the bookshop to drink. Yet again, I thought nothing of it. And was anxious to warm up the sake and pour us both a glass. 

We were a few drinks in, sitting upon the same sofa, when Crowley decided to get very chatty. He started talking about masturbation habits, his in particular. I was seeing snakes at that moment so I laughed it off. The dear boy began a retelling of some of his sessions, where they were in his flat, what he performed on himself, etc. I was rather intrigued by his story about his venture into "soft sounding". I heard about the concept of sounding from an online forum and seemed quite an experience that I wouldn't mind dabbling in, in the future. 

Crowley explained that he used a stream of water to achieve the effect, opening himself up a bit to allow the water to flow in. I was enraptured in the story, especially since Crowley was very much enjoying the attention and was describing the event down to the very last detail, from the sensation to the sounds he made. _Dearie me..._

It was as if he wanted to fluster me before requesting something else sexual of me, fattening me up before the slaughter, if you will. Either way, it worked. 

He continued, straining a tinge while he gyrated his hips to give me a demonstration of what exactly he did while he was alone with himself. And along with the motion of his body, his slender, inhumanely flexible body, and those sounds that he replicated, growls and groans and hisses and _whines_...and to top it all off, his godforsaken cock hard and pulsing against the inside of his tight trousers. Mocking me. 

You dears probably think I'm easy to break, but you have to remember that he is the original tempter. This is his bread and butter. 

Eventually he stopped and asked me about my habits. But before I could answer, he interrupted.

"Wait, I don't really have to ask you that question. You've written a whole blog about your wanking sessions." His carefree tone from earlier melted away to something more stern...like the night before. 

"You said you wouldn't read anymore of it!" I called, pointing at him in an accusatory manner. 

"I haven't. No more. Swear. But, I thought I could do something to help. As a friend." With that, Crowley pulled a long black box from seemingly nowhere and handed it over. 

In red, holographic letters the box read "Dante". I was tempted to ask Crowley how much he spent on this 'gift' of his, but he was leering at me so sternly that I couldn't bother to speak. 

After opening the box, my eyes landed upon a masturbator. Cylindrical in shape with a few buttons at the tip of it, charcoal in color. It was definitely a pricey piece, I could tell by construction alone. I took it out to get a better look at it, rolling it in my hands. The inside was slippery silicone and adorned with rows and rows of ridges and bumps. I actually felt myself harden at the sight of it, thinking how about the little nubbins would feel against my shaft. 

I believe Crowley noticed as well, his eyes moving from between my thighs before moving back to look at me with this salacious expression. 

"You didn't have this one, did you?" The fiend teased me, as if he didn't know that my collection could only barely be considered a collection. I had debated with purchasing a masturbator at some point, most likely from the site I ordered Silas from. But I had never seen anything like Dante in my ventures. 

It didn't even seem like something I would buy. 

"No." I answered curtly. 

Crowley nodded. "I hoped so. Especially because this one in particular has a few tricksss up its sleeve." 

I would know that hiss anywhere. The bastard was attempting to tempt me. And yet again, I was inebriated (and horny) enough to take the bait. 

"What kind of tricks?" I queried, mentally screaming at myself to stop before I jumped right down the rabbit hole and ended up in a wonderland of delectable pleasures undercut with the searing pain of regret and shame. 

Crowley's grin only became more devilish. 

"See these buttons?" He indicated the top of Dante, and with a tap of his finger, the toy sprung to life, emitting a low pulsing sound. "According to reviews, it's supposed to emulate what it feels like to be sucked off. It vibrates, the sleeve inside moves and it even heats up. Wonders of technology, yeah?" He turned it off with another press of the button. 

"Though it may be far too advanced for you to understand, angel. Considering how low-tech you are. I can offer my services to help, if you'd like?" 

Dears, I should have said no. Come to think of it, I was probably better off sending him on his way.

But just the thought of Crowley not just watching from afar but _using_ something on me, close enough that I could pick up his charred, cinnamon-y scent...I had no choice but to comply. 

I was anxious to say "yes" or "yes please" or even "God yes", but I felt the more enthusiastic I was, the more Crowley would tease and pester me for how "un-angelic" i was being. 

So I simply nodded and said, "If you wouldn't mind, dear boy." He smirked in satisfaction, probably because his tempting attempt was a success. 

Before I could register, Crowley pulled me back towards him, his chest to my back. I could feel his breath hot against my neck as he spoke in a whisper. 

"We can stop at any time." 

Crowley's tone had lost all it's bite, that stern, frustrated timbre from earlier not at all present in his voice. He sounded concerned or even desperate. As if he was begging me to stop him. I wasn't sure how to respond at the moment, but thinking on it now, I really should have said stop. 

He placed his hands on my hips, inching them to my fasteners, before making quick work of them, allowing my rather agitated shaft to spring upward. I could hear a shaky sigh from the fiend after he caught a glance of it. With barely any hesitation, he slipped me steadily out of my briefs, through the button crotch. I recall letting out a gentle moan when the sensitive skin tasted the cold air of the shop. His hands gripped at me tightly in response. 

Before reaching over to retrieve Dante, Crowley ghosted a hand over me, and I issued a cross between a whine and a moan. His fingertips felt hot against the penis flesh and I thrusted pathetically up into the air for more contact. He didn't comply, unfortunately, but what he decided to give in return was much, MUCH better. 

Dante slipped over the tip of my shaft like a dream, miraculously wet enough to slide into without a struggle. Crowley's hand was shaking as he pushed me inside down the base, those little nubbins inside already tickling at me in the most pleasant of ways. 

But with a flick of a switch, 

I howled, falling back against Crowley's shoulder. I clung onto the fabric of his trousers hard enough to tear them clean off of him, Despite the fact that Dante was barely making a sound, so many things were happening inside the considerably small device. 

There was the vibration, which tingled every inch down to the base and was even strong enough that I could feel it in my scrotum. It felt positively _electric._

The silicone sleeve actually stretched and retracted, simulating the sensation of stroking almost perfectly. Or something even better, as there was one last feature. 

Dante is unique to most other masturbators as it has a heating feature. Which you would probably believe I'd have an aversion to considering the "Hitachi that couldn't" incident, but this wasn't a searing heat. It was warm and wet and welcoming, almost like a very tender fellatio session. Though I can only speak from hearsay as I haven't been fortunate enough to experience the real thing. But if it is anything like this was...dear _Lord._

I couldn't help but notice that despite Crowley's insistence that I wouldn't be able to use Dante as it was "too technologically advanced", he was barely doing anything besides holding Dante steady. No buttons were being pushed, as I had assumed he would be doing earlier. Why had he lied to me? 

He just sat behind me, one arm wrapped around my waist, the other holding the masturbator in place. I could feel his breath against my neck, unsteady and heated. And there was a rather prominent bulge pushing up against my backside, well, rubbing against my backside more like. I would've focused on the dear boy's soft moans and whines if not for the fact that I was trying my damndest not to spill over. 

Dante was a powerful bugger and it was bound and determined to milk me dry. Or maybe Crowley just had it on the highest setting, I couldn't really comprehend. 

Maybe it was the sake or what Dante was doing to me, but the night feels like a blur of my own noises, Crowley's soft wails and the very _very_ faint feeling of something soft and wet against my neck. 

I can ponder now why Crowley was so adamant on holding me while using Dante but at the time, to say I was distracted was an understatement. I only vaguely recall calling out his name, again and again, higher and higher in pitch. 

And before I toppled over the edge, he bit into my neck, his fangs nearly piercing the flesh. 

Then I saw stars, shuddering with one of my most intense orgasms I've ever experienced. I felt tears trail down my cheeks and I couldn't stop shaking. 

Not missing a beat, Crowley switched Dante off before tossing it to the side. Warm, fresh ejaculate dripped from the device and over my still twitching shaft. The sight was unbelievably erotic but I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to enjoy it. 

Crowley cleaned off the residue before readjusting my clothes, then he slipped out from behind me. His legs could barely hold him upright when he stood back up. I could tell he was ready to leave again, just like last night. 

I couldn't let him go that easily. I had to say something, do something! Everything inside me was screaming, demanding my arms to move, to reach out. 

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back. Crowley turned, looking back at me expectantly. And I froze. My lips wouldn't move. 

_Please don't go. Not yet. Stay with me. This isn't the only thing I want from you, dear. I love you. I love you more than anything, Crowley. Please don't leave me._

It was all in my mind, nothing came out. Not a word, not a sound. What did I do instead, you ask? 

I grabbed his belt and started unbuckling it. 

Because of course I did.

Crowley didn't pull away either, he let it happen. He watched while I pulled out his thick shaft and took it into my mouth. He shuddered and called out while I bobbed my head back and forth, savoring his delectable sweet and spicy flavor. He spoke my name in the softest most gentle way and I moved faster, wanting more of those sounds and my name. Spoken on his lips. Again and again till I had my fill. 

Any and all logic had evaporated into nothing. I only had one objective in mind, to make my dear friend feel amazing and to climax spectacularly. 

He told me how good I was. He praised me. I felt my heart swell at the words. More, I had to have more. 

_Tell me I'm good, dear. Say how amazing I feel against your cock. Love me, love me please..._

Suddenly, he grabbed at my hair, pushing me down on him, groaning as he coated the back of my throat with his essence. I swallowed every drop gratefully as if I hadn't taken a drink in weeks. 

Crowley pulled away panting, grabbing his trousers off the ground before redressing himself. He looked back at me in disbelief, reaching forward to wipe some of his essence from my lips with a finger. 

"Thank you." He spoke softly, then left again. 

I'm speechless after the events of last night. And I hate myself. 

I wish I had something more positive to write for you dears, but I guess take heart in the fact that this is an actual review. 

Until next time, hopefully...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof. 
> 
> Do you know how hard it is to make this angel boy sad? Really hard. 
> 
> Maybe things will get better in the next entry?
> 
> !!!  
> I got some lovely fic art commissioned from @mirrorartworks on Twitter!  
> Their work is lovely and their commissions are still open. They're also taking donations on Kofi. 
> 
> [](https://postimg.cc/5HP2mLs1)   
> 


	6. -new post- (with art!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aziraphale is so excited to type this out he doesn't even title the blog post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Yvesriba! 0:D

DEARS!!! 0:D

I can't begin to describe the absolute JOY I'm feeling right now! Though if I'm being completely honest, I am exhausted! Dearie me, it has been a long night. But an AMAZING night. One of the best nights of my existence. 

This, yet again, isn't a review. Even though I did use a new treat tonight, it is definitely not the star of the show. I'm about to burst from excitement that I can barely type, if I'm honest. 

As I do recount this, I have a rather sleepy serpent resting against my lap. Oh, I should probably clarify that it's not an actual snake, it's Crowley! 0:)

As my dear boy likes to say from time to time, long story short, _he stayed._

And short story long, well...

After the night before, involving Dante and me, erm, becoming rather acquainted with Crowley's, um, 'trouser snake', as it were, I was devastated. After he left me alone, I must be honest, I went up to bed and lay against the sheets, distraught. And cried. Very loudly and unreserved. I felt hopeless and feared a cycle would become apparent. 

Crowley calling, pretending nothing was afoot. Crowley inviting me to a lunch date, completely disregarding the events from the night before. Crowley suggesting we go back to the bookshop for drinks, as _friends_ do, obviously, before we both end up in a rather compromising position. And Crowley leaves, before I can say anything or explain myself at all.

I don't want to seem like I'm playing the victim here. Crowley wasn't taking advantage of me in any way. Everything that happened I explicitly consented to. However, I cannot say I wasn't angry at him, I was. 

As the night passed, I did have to think over my own actions. And came to the conclusion I was being absolutely ridiculous. I COULD NOT be irate with Crowley for not being able to read my mind. I was the one who said yes, kept saying yes, at one point said "God yes." I was the one who wouldn't open my mouth about my feelings and the only time I felt it necessary to open my mouth was to issue filthy moans or take the fiend's cock down my throat. 

I'm sorry for being this vulgar, dears, but I'm still flummoxed how I was being so accusatory towards my darling friend and I was the one who wasn't being clear on my state of mind. 

I woke up the morning after with a new attitude and a drive to finally speak my mind. If Crowley decided to call, I would be ready. We would meet for lunch and I would tell him everything. I would hold his hands, if he allowed me to, look into his golden eyes and wax rhapsodic about how long I've wanted to be with him and how I feel. 

And...hope he felt the same. 

There was one minor problem however. _Crowley never called._ I waited for him to do so before I opened the shop, nothing. During opening hours, I sat anxiously by the phone. A few potential customers called, but no Crowley. Closing time came eventually, not a ring. 

I settled in for the night an hour or so later, coming to terms with the fact that Crowley wasn't calling. Or more over, that he was frustrated with the night before. I hadn't asked him if he wanted me to perform felatio on him, for example. Or maybe he was upset with how much I was emotionally flip-flopping about these occasions. 

I was emotionally distraught about the whole ordeal, but decided to calm down with a cup of cocoa and a good book. Not even a moment after I had taken the piping hot mug to my lips after sitting in my favorite reading chair, there was a knock on the shop door. 

When I opened it, lo and behold, Crowley was standing there. With a black shopping bag. I was overjoyed to see him, seeing as we hadn't talked all day and I was so worried that I had upset him somehow. 

Crowley didn't seem very pleased to see me. He bowed his head in a hello motion before walking over to the sofa. The same sofa from the past two nights. The same sofa that at one point I was naked from the waist down on and performed oral on my closest friend. 

He called for wine. Nothing odd about that, I thought. I believe I was so relieved to see Crowley that I had forgotten my original plan of confession and we started pouring glasses. 

I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't very chatty. He asked how my day was and such but besides that, he was rather quiet. Usually when we get a bit drunk we like to have inane conversations and ramble on about the silliest things. It accomplishes nothing but it's still entertaining and comforting. And as I said before, I just enjoy Crowley's company. 

He waited patiently until we were a few glasses in. Then reached for the black bag. 

"Got you a present." He spoke with contempt. Not a smidgen of niceties in his tone. It sounded less like "Here's a gift" and more like "Here's a weapon to end yourself with." 

But I still appreciated the gift, reaching over to handle it, smiling and thanking him. He didn't feel it necessary to say anything back. But when I retrieved the item from the bag, I felt my heart sink. 

It was another toy. A penetrative one with a loop on its base. I turned towards Crowley and pointed at the apparatus in shock. 

"That's a ring to keep slip over the finger. Makes it easier for me to use on you." He answered, not at comprehending that I wasn't asking "what is this loop here for, dear boy?" and actually was asking "Why did you buy me something else?!"

And also, "Why are you assuming you will be using it on me?!"

But that was ridiculous. I wouldn't say no if he asked, and he knew that too well. I was taken aback on how bold he was being however. The past few nights we at least went out for dinner and then came back to the shop. But Crowley was cunning, and he knew what I was after and it wasn't dinner dates. (It actually wasn't what I was after, but the dear boy only knows his craft and what he could sense. I don't blame him for any of this.)

"So," Crowley began, reaching for the package so he could open it. "Are we doing this?" 

He just sounded so dead pan. Not a hint of mischief or teasing. As if this was a chore to him. 

But no matter, I still said yes. 

Crowley shrugged and sighed, as if he was disappointed in me. Little did he know I was already disappointed enough in myself. 

He waved his hand, silently telling me to undress. Without any preamble, I slipped out of my trousers, taking any undergarments with them. I wasn't in the mood to show off. Honestly, I was more in the mood to just get this over with. And it seemed he was too. 

He asked where Hera was and went to retrieve her while I sat bare bottomed and laying against the armrest of the sofa, then came back a moment or so later. 

"Here." Crowley tossed Hera to me. "I'm sure you know where to put it." I was surprised when he sat behind me, even more so when he asked if I could lay back against his chest. Which I did, without question. Feeling that closeness to him and taking his uniquely charred but somehow still sweet scent was enticing enough that I could push my qualms to the side. 

Resting against him, I could feel his heart beating like a hammer against my back. He was shaking despite the fact that his voice was clear and steady when he instructed me to spread my legs. But not before repeating what he spoke the night before. 

"We can stop at any time." Though he added a few more words. "Anything you want. Tell me." 

He sounded so kind and sincere...

"Please continue." I heard myself say before I could stop it. 

Crowley hummed something in agreement before placing a hand against my thigh. The other already had the new penetrative toy attached to his finger like a ring. 

I shivered under his touch, at that moment realizing that before tonight, Crowley had never actually touched me. Especially in such an intimate way. His fingertips felt like heated pinpricks against my skin, ebbing away any cold like fire. I felt my insides quiver, even moisten just by the simple trace of his nails. 

His name slipped past my lips in a whisper that morphed into a yelp when he pushed the new treat inside me. It was nowhere as thick as Silas but I couldn't care less. Crowley was holding it and controlling it and that was all that mattered to me. 

"Go ahead and turn it on. Lowest setting till I tell you to ramp it up." I heard Crowley hiss in my ear, indicating Hera. I nodded and complied, falling back against his shoulder when she started battering against my pink insides. 

Crowley started a steady rhythm, moving his hand back and forward, occasionally thrusting forward harshly causing me to fling forward. One of my hands found its way to his wrist while the other held Hera in place. 

I could feel his breath hot against my neck and while it was incredibly intoxicating, it only made the shame worse. But then he pressed his lips to it in a deliberate fashion, desperate even. I held tightly to his wrist, hoping he could feel how appreciative I was even if I couldn't say it. 

It was messy and unreserved, and I was so very tempted to lean back and pull him into a kiss. Considering we hadn't exactly shared that yet, I was hesitant to try. 

Crowley had moved his hand from under mine to over it, pushing against it and keeping Hera firmly against me. Everything in me felt like an exposed nerve and every touch just agitated it more. It wasn't long before I was teetering over the edge and Crowley hadn't even changed the setting on Hera yet. It was just the scenario that had me so flustered. 

I believe he caught on to it, pushing the switch to raise the vibrator up a level. I heard myself yelp, I was so close. My legs were quaking and I felt like I could vibrate off the sofa. 

But something started tugging at me from deep inside my thoughts. Something that had to be said, needed to be said. It was screaming from within me, grabbing and clawing at my insides from my stomach to my throat and eventually emerged from my lips. 

"STOP!" 

Crowley flung himself off me, shaking. I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to yell, let alone say what I said. 

I turned around to face him, his eyes were wide, slightly misty. He genuinely looked hurt. And it struck deep inside me. I didn't feel guilty for telling Crowley to stop, I felt guilty because I let it go on for as long as it had. 

"I can't...we can't..." I stumbled over my words, unable to speak properly with those disheartened golden eyes staring back at me. The poor dear, I just wanted to reach over and hold him close, do anything I could to take that crestfallen expression off his gorgeous face. But I knew what had to be said, I couldn't be a coward any longer. 

"I can't do this anymore." My voice cracked when I finally admitted it and I looked back at Crowley to see if I could read his expression. He nodded, confirming to me that I didn't need to explain what I meant by "this."

This is it. I thought. The moment. I'm going to confess everything. So many years of pining has led to this. I can't turn back now. 

I opened my mouth, expecting the words to just spill from my lips, especially since I've practiced this same scene over and over again. Usually to a mirror or my pillow, and it would go over seamlessly with the perfect words, an amazingly romantic kiss, and a rigorous, satisfying, fantastic love making session. 

Which in the scenario I'm describing, I would use Silas, especially for that full to the point of bursting sensation he gives, while moaning aloud and maybe shouting out a few "I love yous" all for the sake of the fantasy. 

And I won't admit to responding in a lower, more Crowley-like tone by saying "I love you too." Definitely not. That would be very unbecoming of me. 

Expectations differ from reality unfortunately. 

I'm sure I looked like an utter fool holding my mouth open and just expecting the perfectly written and uttered love confession to materialize. Crowley sure looked at me as if I was a fool, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. (He also has the same expression when he teases me. And at another time, it would've flustered me to no end. So sly and cunning...oh dearie me.)

I felt cornered and I hate to admit I was half tempted to say I was joking and concede to just going back to what we were doing. But something wouldn't allow me to. Something inside me stirred and it would not rest until I said what needed to be said. The issue with that was, I couldn't speak. Then it hit me, I didn't have to. I typed out everything I felt already. 

Crowley looked on, completely bewildered, when I reached for my mobile. I pulled up the interwebs then my blog and handed it to him to read. 

"You said I couldn't read anymore of this." Crowley stated, looking at the phone like it was on fire. "I kept my word."

"Just read this passage. Please." I practically begged. 

The fiend rolled his eyes and took the phone. His expression started off stern as he read through the first few paragraphs then softened as he continued. He bit his lip and I could tell his eyes had gotten a bit foggy near the end before he placed the device on the nearby table. Crowley didn't seem frustrated or sickened, he seemed rather calm and collected. Not exactly what I was expecting. 

"Did you actually read it?" I asked, quite skeptical. 

"Yup." He replied with a nod. "Every word." Before smiling wickedly. "I still need you to say it. You're not weaseling your way out of this that easily, angel." 

Of course. It couldn't be that easy. But wait, the way he was carrying on...did Crowley know something I didn't?

"You don't seem to be mad..."

Crowley scoffed, "Why would I be mad? I just want to hear it. Should be easy to say since you already typed it." 

Right. He wasn't wrong there. It shouldn't be difficult at all, I practiced so many times, I should have this down to a science. 

"Alright. Well, Crowley." I began, straightening my back and grabbing ahold of the dear boy's hands, like I had always imagined I would when this time came. "I...."

Words failed me, I felt like my throat was closing up and my vision would soon be speckled in spots as I fell to the floor. 

But I persisted. It had to be said, had to be. He needs to know. 

"...love you." 

The voice didn't even sound like my own. I glanced back at Crowley for some kind of approval. The fiend gave me a self satisfied smirk. 

"Didn't quite catch that, Zira. Could you repeat it, a little louder this time?"

_"I love you..."_ I croaked out. Oh, this was torture. 

"Once more?" Crowley teased. 

"I love you." That time it came out as clear as bell and the snarky grin Crowley had on his face was replaced with something kinder and warmer. 

"Was that so hard, angel?" He cooed, reaching a hand over to place on my cheek tenderly. 

"I love you." I said it again. Have no idea why I did, but it just slipped out. I think my mind was like a skipping record at that moment, stuck on the bridge of the song before the last chorus.

"Mmhmm." Crowley nodded, running a hand gently through my curly locks. "Yes you do."

"I love you." 

And again. 

At this point Crowley was trying not to laugh, considering my vulnerable and emotional state. He continued to pet at my fluffy hair till I seemed to regain some kind of lucidity. 

"You don't appear to be shocked." I observed drearily, the gentle way Crowley played with my hair was a bit too overwhelming. I wasn't used to such precise but soft affection. 

"I'm not shocked." Crowley shrugged. "I knew. I've known for awhile." 

"What do you mean, you've known?!" I nearly shouted in disbelief but Crowley just chuckled softly. 

"You're a shit liar, angel. With a terrible poker face. I can't sense love like you do but I can sense discontent. Naivety in need of tempting. But moreover, I have eyes. And you have the tendency to be completely blatant about how you feel." 

He placed a hand on my cheek as he continued. 

"I can read you like a book. And I won't lie, it took me a while to catch on. Decades even. But I knew you weren't lusting after me." Crowley turned away, guilt evident in his eyes. "I...I only used this as a way to break you, to finally get you to admit how you truly felt. And I'm sorry it went that far." 

He leaned forward, nuzzling into my hair. It was so gentle and tender, I felt like I was floating...

"You're too much of a stubborn bastard. Desperate times called for desperate measures." 

My body seemed to work on it's own when it wrapped its arms around Crowley, holding him close. He felt guilty and so did I. And the way he responded, echoing the same affection but holding me tighter...I had never experienced intimacy like that.

We held each other for a few moments, my hands rubbing Crowley's back, his tangled in my hair. It felt like time froze just for us. 

And then. 

When we both pulled back and gazed into each other's eyes, I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Could I kiss you?" 

And oh, dears. I've seen passionate kisses and I've read about them, but I never knew it could feel like _that_. Crowley didn't rush, barely used any force, treated me like I was a piece of blown glass. His lips were warm and soft and just...I cannot put it into words, if I'm honest. 

Eventually, we pulled apart, though I lost track of how long the kiss even lasted. 

"I told you how I feel..." I spoke breathlessly. 

"Mmm, you should know how I feel." Crowley responded. 

I was a bit miffed at his response, considering that I had just struggled with my words and fought an exhausting mental battle with myself just to say three simple words and Crowley couldn't be bothered to do that same. 

But then I had a thought about it and remembered. All the times Crowley had shown me in his own special way how he felt. Every exchange, every favor, every gift, even every longing look that my mind (at least in the past) would second guess as loving just for a split second before logic prevailed and I would remind myself that he was incapable of loving. 

He didn't need to say anything. 

"How long?" I asked. 

"How long do you think?" Crowley responded in a purr. 

"Maybe," I fumbled with my thoughts but nothing seemed to come out clear. Luckily, Crowley isn't the patient kind and answered his own question.

"Since the Beginning. And I was absolutely awful at hiding it."

That struck and those memories from earlier resurfaced. All those times where Crowley smiled at me and held his gaze just a bit too long, or the few times I had moved just a bit too close and he stepped away, nearly frantically to get away from me. 

Or those nights where we would drink together and we were prattling on about inane nonsense, that unmistakable feeling of _love_ that flooded through me. It wasn't a fluke like I had predicted. 

"I'm..." 

I began to speak, but my thoughts hadn't caught up with my mouth quite yet. What was I trying to say? _"I'm sorry(?)_ However, it did not come out that way. Instead, I sputtered in laughter when I said,

"I'm so stupid!!"

Crowley wasn't quite keen on me being so self deprecating but it's true!

I was being so very, very, very stupid!!

Everytime in the past I had that feeling of love pass over me, I tried to justify it. Sometimes I would actually find a place where it could stem from. Maybe Crowley and I were in the park together and I would notice a young couple across the way, nuzzling against each other in a rather adorable fashion. And I would tell myself, _Ah, that must be where I'm sensing it from!_

That was at least logical. 

But when Crowley and I were alone, not a soul around us in the shop, maybe only illuminated by candlelight...I would come up with the most ridiculous things to justify it. 

That suffocating cloud of love would nearly clog my senses and I would ponder it's source. Never once did I think, _look right in front of you, daft angel!_

Instead, of all things, I guessed that the neighbors were maybe being amorous with each other. 

"I can't believe I never noticed it. I'm so very sorry, dear boy..." 

I was laughing through the tears, I felt so incredibly guilty. Crowley held me close, brushing his fingers through my hair, occasionally wiping a tear away. I could tell he was stifling his laughter as well. 

And when the dam finally broke, we both just sputtered and cackled. There was nothing else we could do! And I know Crowley isn't a fan of moping. And what did it matter now that we both opened up and said our pieces? 

When the giggles died down a bit, Crowley pulled me in for another kiss. While the first one was hesitant, this one was more smooth and confident. I felt something warm and soft in my chest bud then bloomed. It felt so, so, so....right. We melted into each other effortlessly as if we had shared this moment before multiple times in the past. 

And maybe we had. In our own ways. We just never touched each other this way. 

And when I let out the quietest most meek of moans, I felt him shudder but not pull away. He pulled me closer though his lips slipped away from mine to speak in a hushed whisper. 

"I'm sorry too. To think you lusted after me-"

"Dear." 

There was a slight shift in the mood. I sensed it when I placed my finger to Crowley's lips. 

"I never said," I paused, feeling myself blush. "I never said I didn't lust after you at all." 

Crowley's cheeks were nearly the same colour as his red tresses. "So?"

"So," My hands found themselves on his chest, teasing at the buttons of his blouse. My body's actions were not my own at that moment. I don't recall telling my hands to travel. It was as if they were moving autonomously. 

"I can love you and lust after you as well, can't I?"

Who was the silver tongued man that possessed me at that moment? My voice didn't even sound like my own. Crowley seemed to pick up on it in his vulgar way. 

"Zira...what the f--"

"Shhhhh. Tell me darling, have you done the same? I know you love me, but have you imagined...?"

Crowley let out a purr that made me shudder. "You haven't the slightest of what I've imagined.. "

"You could enlighten me?" I teased. 

"Hmm," Crowley purred, coming in close enough to where I could feel his heated breath

on the shell of my ear. "Would you be put off if I asked you to get on all fours so i could fuck you properly?"

I think I squealed in delight at that suggestion, but my memory is a bit fuzzy. I do remember him smiling at my reaction and my response.

"Only if you do it lovingly."

We started kissing again, both of us giggling like we were both aware of an inside joke. I think I could get quite drunk on the amount of love that emanated from the dear boy, it just kept washing over me in waves, it was intoxicating! I was already bare from the waist down, so I decided to help Crowley undress. 

When he was down to his pants, I felt myself moisten at the sight of his rather impressive bulge. Of course I had already been up close and personal with it, but this felt different somehow. Maybe it was more intimate and less, "If I perform sexual favors on you, you'll maybe know how I feel."

Before I stripped him completely bare, I leaned down to give the tip of it a little kiss. Crowley chuckled and I glanced up at him. He just looked so happy, his golden eyes gleaming in the candlelight of the shop. I couldn't help myself and pulled him in again, moaning in delight over his delicious taste. 

In the flurry of the snogging, his pants were discarded and my waistcoat and shirt were lost, only leaving my bowtie. Crowley tugged on it to keep me close and oh, dear. I made a mental note at that moment to wear more things he can grab onto. 

We were so focused on each other's lips that we barely noticed the fact that we were both completely bare and skin to skin. I was the first to try something, letting my hand graze down Crowley's slender sides and onto his hip, before daintily grabbing his shaft. 

The sound he made, maybe it was a whine? Or a groan? A mewl of some sort? Either way, I needed more.

I started a steady pace and he threw his head back, calling out my name, revealing that tantalizing strip of skin under his chin. I latched my mouth onto it, suckling gently. I felt something leak onto my hand, and I think Crowley's voice cracked!

But it wasn't too long till I heard him say in a harsh whisper. "...need you." 

My mind was reeling. Everything was moving so fast and I was still in disbelief that it was happening. 

"How do you want me, dear?" I cooed, twisting my wrist on the up stroke. Something I had done to myself in the past and hoped Crowley would enjoy it too. And he did. 0:)

"Turn around." He asked, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. 

I complied, and Crowley was on my back less than a second later. I could hear him adjusting himself prior to leaning down to my ear and asking if I was ready for him. 

And I was more than ready.

He went in slow and I could hear him shudder behind me. Shaky hands grasped at my hips. I was rendered speechless for a moment. Not to be crude, but the dear boy is slightly thicker than Silas. And warm. And throbbing. And _alive_. 

Crowley eased inside until he couldn't go any farther. Then he asked softly, "How is it?" 

"Better than I imagined." I responded wistfully.

"Flatterer. I haven't even started moving yet." 

Do you dears remember how I said I can be quite loud? This still stands to be true.

Because when Crowley started moving...dear, Lord.

Not only was I loud, I was unreserved. And talkative! It wasn't just unintelligible sounds and squeals, there was calling out his name(multiple times) and commands of "faster!"; "harder!" and "more, god please, more!" 

Crowley wasn't exactly silent either. He called out my name multiple times and each one sent a shudder of ecstacy through me. It just sounded so erotic and somehow loving at the same time. Oh! And he said he loved me. Not once either. The first time was in a whisper, barely under his breath. 

Like, "I love you, angel."

But the second time, haha! 

He practically screamed it. 

He also praised me sweetly, but also slipped some not so sweet praise in there as well. 

"You're so gorgeous." Is more sweet.

While, "Mmm, you feel amazing. So tight, angel." Is DEFINITELY more filthy. But not at all unwelcome. 

And there was the swearing. A lot of swearing.

This only carried on for a few moments. I could tell in the jerkiness of Crowley's thrusts he was most likely nearing the end. I was as well, but I still needed that push. Though I was more focused on my partner's pleasure at that moment in time. 

"...close-?" The word could barely leave Crowley's lips but I nodded in understanding. 

And next thing I knew, I felt something vibrating against me and the electricity of a VIOLENT orgasm shocked my system. My voice cracked, my legs shuddered and threatened to falter and I felt something very distinct drip down my thigh after furiously coming out of me. I had DEFINITELY never experienced that before. And for a split second, I had a theory that Crowley was finished and that was what was running down my thigh. But no, it was definitely of my own creation. 

Because Crowley toppled over the edge after me, crying out when he emptied himself inside. 

And that sensation, goodness gracious, I could very much get used to it. 

There was a moment of quiet between us. And I finally looked down between my legs. Crowley was holding Hera steady against my insides. 

Now this is where things get a bit blurry or more over if I detailed every single encounter that took place tonight, this entry could fill up at least 25 pages. So, let me give you a stripped down version.

After Crowley pulled out, I was eager to get my lips around him. His taste mixed with my own? Absolutely scrumptious. We even shared a rather messy kiss afterwards. He was very eager. 

Next I straddled Crowley's lap. He used his hand, not Hera, to push me over the edge. And filled my insides again. We shared a kiss during, or at least tried to, through our sounds!

Crowley had me lay on my back so he could "clean up his mess". Which meant very tender oral, on his part. And that _tongue_ , I knew it would feel fantastic.

I stayed on my back for the next session and Hera came back into play. Which was even better is that Crowley could feel it as well when he thrusted in and out, he was even louder somehow. Another climax, another shot of creamy filling. At this point, I was feeling like french toast, stuffed to the brim with cream cheese. Or ravioli? 

I feel a bit vulgar with the descriptions but I must say, feeling the combination of both our love and essence dripping down my thighs was indescribable. 

Crowley seemed to think so too. He called me a "naughty angel." And maybe I am one? 0;) It will definitely be easier to live up to that title since I have a partner in crime. 

I had to struggle with the dear boy to get off the sofa so I could make something to drink, I was rather parched after multiple love making sessions. "One more time," Crowley requested, "Just another kiss, please?" 

Eventually I found my way to the kitchenette to prepare some cocoa. Halfway through the water boiling, Crowley snuck in behind me, peppered me in kisses, then sat me up on the cabinet. 

Needless to say, we made quite a mess on the countertop. And the cocoa went cold. 

He eventually carried me back to the sofa and there were maybe 2 or 3 or 5 more go arounds. I may have lost track. By the end of it, I was a dripping mess and Crowley couldn't help but make the comment, 

"You look like a cake with too much frosting."

I couldn't help but respond, 

"Are you sure I'm not a pie with too much cream?"

He cleaned me up before we settled down to nap. 

So there you have it dears! Me and my dearest Crowley are officially an item in a romantic and sexual relationship and I could not be happier. He will most definitely be playing a part in future reviews. 

Before I go however, Crowley was very specific about something he wanted me to add in this entry. After he asked if I would be telling my followers about tonight and I said yes, he snickered, 

"Let them know you'll be able to get a proper fucking anytime you please." 

So, I'll be able to get a proper fucking anytime I please? 0:/

Oh, seems like Crowley's waking up. He'll probably want breakfast. Or, something else. 0;) Hehe. 

Till next time, dears! 0:D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT WAS TORTURE LET ME TELL YOU.  
> Its not even a slow burn but who cares  
> THEY TALKED/FUCKED IT OUT  
> AHAHA  
> I'm so tired.
> 
> Soooo the amazingly lovely GayDemonicDisaster gifted me with this art, that embodies the sweet, tender scene where Crowley nuzzles into Aziraphale's hair when they hold each other for the first time. 💙

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for this, I just have a habit of writing Azi as not exactly experienced but still well versed on the subject. And I just really wanted to write something cute, funny but also a teeny bit spicy. 
> 
> One of my friends described this little drabble as "cute and sexy" and that was exactly what I was aiming for! So i decided to post it. And trust me. Azi likes to indulge, so this definitely won't be his only entry.  
> And maybe in the future, he won't have to 'review' these treats alone. :3c


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